= with a certain open front | Veronica Valeanu [04.Jun.09 15:53] |
the beginning has force i appreciate it i advise you to get rid of "I seem to enjoy" which is so striking, so artificial - let the reader build that for you "the successful accomplishment/ of nothing" is again too far-fetched you mislead the reader into a blind alley + try to be cold even arrogant then you turn melodramatic & rhetoric Marius you master this language well enough -so turn clues/objects/zooms into perspectives rather than serving them in a rough way on a plate. a lost cause will be surely lost if you focus upon the meaning; do that to distract our attention upon traces emerging from it (there might be something to be gained from here) I'll come back | |
= ground control to major tom :) | dan marius [04.Jun.09 19:49] |
appreciate the feedback, I really do, especially when it comes in such an elaborate way. I don't know what I focus on when I write. Honestly. As for the reader, I think a decent reader should feel free to interpret the text as he (or she) pleases. I don't have anything more to say, I think my text does the talking. Sometimes I don't understand what it says :) Well this is me answering like a fourth grader I know, but that's my (juvenile) opinion about writing, about the writer and the reader. I think that both the writer and the reader are "receivers". And that both writing and reading are beautiful & complete mysteries. | |
= re | Veronica Valeanu [04.Jun.09 23:34] |
but you should reconsider paying importance to the strategy too, it only adds to inspiration by the way didn't you say "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" ? | |
= I think | dan marius [05.Jun.09 11:14] |
the "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" part seems bitingly ironic to me. as for the "strategy" I think that once you've learned to play the guitar, for instance, you rarely focus your attention on your fingers. | |
= ! | Corina Gina Papouis [05.Jun.09 20:15] |
I believe that feed-back is great, however, it's impossible for one poem to fit us all...and I also believe that DM's style is this...and not that, otherwise it would be a VV signed poem, which would probably be as good as but...different and I guess that's just as normal.:) Cheers to all! C | |
= technicalities of playing guitar | ion a [08.Jun.09 07:18] |
"once you've learned to play the guitar... you rarely focus your attention on your fingers" i think it depends on how difficult whatever you're playing is :) i used to be a professional violin player. my first teacher always emphasized that i should watch my fingers, particularly when playing on stage. it kind of helps you establish a secondary "circuit" between "soul" and its physical support. of course, performing arts are very different from literature: on stage there can be no editing, mistakes are forever. then again, i don't believe "solitary" arts, like literature, can be completely free of improvisation. sure, structure is always in the background of any improvisation, no matter how brilliant of farfetched. but i don't think structure is driving creativity but rather the opposite. | |