| + dome-estic | Veronica Valeanu [15.Sep.09 20:58] |
| a powerful text worn out feelings turned into a restrained speech go well with that domesticity. i don't know why, i can't associate this with mentally disturbed people, but with old people in an asylum waiting for the death to come faster. their perception is eroded.also, [employee of the century]emphasizes old age. th e first 3 lines introduce the atmosphere much too forcefully in my opinion. perhaps you should change them by using a message like a trace that has disappeared and must be searched for. the rest is powerful enough, so there should be a counterweight for the imprint of domesticity. there are some lines i envy you for! V.V. | |