| = now you are teasing us!:) | Corina Gina Papouis [23.Jan.10 12:24] |
| this is one of my favourite poems of yours. and you know it!:) I believe it should sit where it belongs. Your eye is a zoom lens here. the reader can see through it right behind that wall. Thank you Calin for sharing it with us! cheers, Corina | |
| = Since now... | Cãlin Sãmãrghiþan [23.Jan.10 13:39] |
| That's the poem of my entire view on poetry. It's too nice from you, now at my beginning here. I'd smile and say that since now will be worse. | |
| = The capturing of vital details- | John Willy Kopperud [23.Jan.10 13:38] |
| -excluding the identification of the object. I really appreciate the angle here, though I do think you'll have to add an "a" before tea-cup if you wish that line to stay within a correct English syntax. Cheers from Willy | |
| = ”the”? | Cãlin Sãmãrghițan [23.Jan.10 16:35] |
| Thanks John, that's the advice I need. It's difficult for me to understand where to use the article or not. Is ”the” all right too? I think that is closer to what I meant. | |
| = I | Corina Gina Papouis [23.Jan.10 16:45] |
| find either of the forms ok...I usually prefer de-cluttering to max of shorter texts. here, with or without 'the' that verse makes sense to me... and Calin, you may post comments without editor's verification..I learned from the Romanian site that you can offer great support to others... Regards! Corina | |
| = Calin | Marius Surleac [23.Jan.10 17:08] |
| Hi Calin. I like your poem and the idea behind it, but I think that the repetitive "remember" wipes it a bit because of the shortness of your poem. Cheers! | |
| = stand by | Cãlin Sãmãrghițan [23.Jan.10 17:09] |
| Thanks, Corina. On the area of English language I stay put or with extreme caution. I am an absolute rookie on expressing myself in the second language. | |
| = quicksands | Cãlin Sãmãrghițan [23.Jan.10 17:19] |
| Thank you, Marius, for your note. I don't know what to do on the case you mentioned. I'm afraid of too long enumeration here. All my next poems I hope to post here will be short. I must learn, so any further opinion will be appreciated. | |
| = Good! | John Willy Kopperud [23.Jan.10 17:59] |
| I see now that the article "the" is more adequate here than "a". By now your poem looks very good in English! Cheers from Willy | |