| = so | Veronica Valeanu [01.Apr.10 12:30] |
| Alexandra, welcome on Agonia! I noticed with satisfaction that you know how to use the tone and the speech like a tool in building a poem. also,you are conversant with creating a concept by anchoring it into the material/physical world. this atmosphere is well-dosed and carefully created, especially by acute centers of tension: {faux-leather chair} personally, i as well find "taxidermy" to offer generous resources for poetry. a suggestion:[willing to] is usually followed by vbs, and [txidermy] is not a vb [the vb would be -to stuff-] so you could perhaps change [willing to] rather than [taxidermy] . maybe [prone to]? so, definitely looking forward to reading more of your work. | |
| = . | Veronica Valeanu [01.Apr.10 15:40] |
| /willing to do taxidermy self | |
| = thanks for the warm welcome | Alexandra Ciufudean [01.Apr.10 19:37] |
| (i'm not sure exactly where i should be posting this, i do hope it'll pop up where it's supposed to eventually) thanks for the warm welcome, support and critique are always good to have around, especially when one is new to a community and not quite so sure-footed. i do realize now -- belatedly -- that "taxidermy" is not a verb, but "willing to stuff self" would sound so terribly crude. i'll try and think up some alternative -- how about "willing to perform taxidermy on self"? (and you know those cardboard signs that bums in rags hold up at streetcorners -- "will sing for money", "willing to [insert random activity here] for money/food"? yeah? well, that's sort of the feeling i tried to create. despair, really.) | |
| = . | Veronica Valeanu [01.Apr.10 19:54] |
| Alexandra, you'll find useful information on the main page about the site's policy - to guide you. your level can be increased (and thus, to be able to post texts and comments without the editor's approval) if you are active with texts and interactive comments. please check this out. when mentioning about the tone I was referring to that cold despair, which is obvious indeed. I was thinking - maybe [willing to take taxidermy on myself] is much more suggestive. regards, VV | |