| = still | Veronica Valeanu [10.Oct.10 19:07] |
| selves, not selfs i think the passage from the reality momentum sequences to the holistic destination is much too abrupt. you made too much room for those leaves and terdrops as charghed with triggering the effect but they are used as cliches keep the idea of leaves and teardrops but work on it /transform/ enrich a little bit until they get out of the vicious circle of the cliche (plus do smth about those repetitions) I am saying that because the end is very powerful and it would be too bad to miss the steps | |
| = Reaches very far | Maria Katherine Kondax [15.Oct.10 10:00] |
| This poem reaches very deep to where the reader hides all of their secret notions. This portrays how they hide their true feelings and just accept the fact that they may never be perfect. Although, deep down they may want to ammend themselves, yet they take control and hide all traces of anguish to get on with a typical day. | |