Members comments:

 =  No Rhyme
James A Williams
[14.Jan.12 14:47]
Try it without rhyming

 =  throw the ballast
ion a
[15.Jan.12 04:53]
i think James is right, right now rhyme and fixed form are just constraints for you, many other versions you could try, like:

flip over
when the page is done
don't start
using water
to engrave a face
you only need to embrace its shadow
take your time

 =  Thank you very much for your precious piece of advice, however I am afraid I am
mia isabela deleanu
[15.Jan.12 11:42]
Thank you very much for your precious piece of advice, however I am afraid I am a prisoner of the rhyme :)


 =  James
James A Williams
[15.Jan.12 12:11]
Free youself!




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