| = mermaid | Veronica Vãleanu [22.Jul.12 21:26] |
| it definitely has the power of a movie. that vintage atmosphere, specific to the Irish, small communities that live by the sea. by the way, it strongly reminds me of a video: Cranberries- Ode to my family. I appreciate the way you worked with the atmosphere, how you preserved the old air and added a touch of magic realism. for example, how people are integrated into the Sea, that feeds on them. and when [The old men age with wine] I see it as if they were almost sharing a religious macro-feeling, following a rough youth dedicated to taming the liquid, fanthom- Creature. In fact, I think that men became the flesh and women the spirit of the sea-creature. the ending is very powerful, triggered by the waves that are nothing by skin that sheds. I have noticed your appearance here, on Agonia, and I already think you will be a great asset to our community. I will be following your work and listening to your voice. V.V | |
| = err | Veronica Vãleanu [22.Jul.12 21:27] |
| nothing but skin | |
| = Thank you Veronica | Ronald E Shields [23.Jul.12 22:59] |
| Veronica, thank you for this exquisite critique of my poem. I did start with an image in my mind of a community very much like the one in Ode To My Family. From there the poem simply evolved organically and the elements of the sea, religion, and magical realism became part of the narrative quite unintentionally at first. I am pleased that my work has merit in your eyes, and look forward to becoming part of the Agonia community. rs | |