| = Keep it up and keep it at it :-) | Holger Nord [08.Jul.14 19:06] |
| Dear Dorina, I am in no way an expert or a critic but simply someone who loves poetry. And I think you have some excellent material there. Images such as barefooted and a runner over the world's garbage could be exploited into powerful scenes. Love the "courage sold me quickly to my fear" - well done! Two things I would like to raise, the coherence and logic behind the images - forgive my ignorance - but beggar clothes, learning and serpent, not sure whether I can close the gap in my reading. The other point is that you need to be careful when you write in English - may I assume that it is not your native tongue? - but if you resort to common phrases the poem and your wording become banal (unless you want the banality). At times the words you use are simply incorrect, e.g. I acting, recognize, the world judge, over which etc. Careful editing is needed. A good choice of words through a thesaurus can be achieved but you must be mindful of the appropriateness or historical dimension of your linguistic tools :-) | |
| = for Holger | Dorina Șișu [19.Mar.15 20:10] |
| Dear Holger, thank you! Your opinion matters to me! English is not my native language. I apologize, I try. Now learn English. Hugs! | |