| = Frozen tears turning to oblivion | Dana Muºat [05.Nov.05 20:18] |
| Hy Sheila! First i would like to say that i liked your poem, but it has little negative situations. Let my tell you: 1)you are telling us about the frozen teras twice and is not a good repetition. 2)"pain is beyond human can imagine"-this is the only part of the text which i haven't liked. Why? Because i thing is not a revelation, is just an ideea, not original, to used by the poets. 3)"Of a dead soul…"-this is too simple. Don't get my wrong, the simple ideeas are good, but not perfect in every situation. There is a "black feeling" in your poem that i like, i can feel the anger of your voice, screaming the words in this poem. | |
| = * | Dana Muºat [05.Nov.05 20:20] |
| I think, not thing SORRY | |
| = anyways,,thanks for the suggestions!...its really appreciated!it'll be of great | Sheila Marie Ogaña [06.Nov.05 16:10] |
| yeah...i've noticed that...ive written it continuously while im reeeeallly angry...i didnt edit it.i want to preserve the "anger" within it.i intentionally neglect the feeling of editing it... | |
| = (",) | Sheila Marie Ogaña [07.Nov.05 15:18] |
| great help..i mean..*scratches head*"wheres the word help in my comment anyway?..i remember typing it..." | |