| = Interesting elaboration... | John Willy Kopperud [15.Apr.08 16:22] |
| ...on the first person. Cheers from Willy | |
| = !? | Marius Surleac [15.Apr.08 18:02] |
| Sorry that "I" did not understand this poem but I see a short description of Jack's character. That's all! | |
| = !!! | Marius Surleac [15.Apr.08 18:05] |
| ... my opinion is that are better poems in the Workshop!!! | |
| = I guess we won't agree in this case, Marius... | John Willy Kopperud [15.Apr.08 18:31] |
| ...because I saw this partly as a description of illusions - the illusionary self. But as to the last line...it is unneccesary and should go. Cheers from Willy | |
| = inner self | Bobeica Razvan [16.Apr.08 15:49] |
| Marius Surleac,you didn't get it.The speaker in the poem is Jack's inner self,it represents all of Jack's frustrations and his lament regarding the fact that he didn't become what he had set out to,he is desperate,he is crying over spilled milk if you will | |
| = indeed... | Marius Surleac [16.Apr.08 09:58] |
| Yes but it may be improved! Cheers Willy! | |
| = cheers! | Marius Surleac [16.Apr.08 16:32] |
| When I have mentioned in my comment that is all about Jack's character, I think I got it. Please have a closer look! You don't have to be angry about, is my opinion and anyone can put a better or a worse comment attached to your text. On this site we have to be open for critics to improve our texts. Cheers and hope you don't mind about! | |
| = the soap & the ashes | dan marius [18.Apr.08 14:26] |
| dudes it's fight club... | |
| = !!! | Marius Surleac [18.Apr.08 14:42] |
| there's no fight Dan! just friendship! Cheers! | |
| = muuvie? | dan marius [18.Apr.08 15:12] |
| I meant "fight club" the movie... "I am jack's voice.... I'am jack's cold sweat... I get cancer I kill Jack :) | |
| = true! | Marius Surleac [18.Apr.08 15:17] |
| Now I understand. Nice! Cheers Dan ;) | |