| = re your stubs | Corina Gina Papouis [27.Jul.08 11:03] |
| Marius Interesting poem! The structure, the message, the sinking in that atractive heaven-come-hell, the angels and the devils stinking of vodka, the taste of corruption, your stubs gone, poor angel!! a sense of internal tremmor, unleashed passion comes across. the end - a reality check... i did not like the "voluptuous women, dressed in shiny leather fixed on the fannies" - maybe naked or playboy bunnies, or i don't know...:)) the rest was brilliant! regards, corina | |
| = good | Christopher Thripp [26.Jul.08 23:54] |
| i detect a duel within? | |
| = thank you - answer | Marius Surleac [27.Jul.08 11:17] |
| Corina, thanks for the beautiful words and the poem I wanted to have a sort of black humour, some grotesque within the imagery of the text and as well a basic idea. So the basic idea of the text is about the connection between humans and saint entities, the connection with the religion; also here is o be found the human imagination about a coma state. The poem has three parts, the first one is like an anger reaction for what happened, the second one is the action and the answer for the whole idea of the poem, and the third part is the result. Actually, the poem reflects a state that connects real life with the agony state of an individual that almost died. You'll see what I meant if you'll read it again after my comment. About the part which you didn’t like I wanted to put under the lens, again, the imagination and hidden desires of that guy but under a grotesque shape – I used that image with “leather” and “fannies” to bring a fetish shape to his desires. Once again thank you very much! Best wishes, Marius | |
| = thank you Chris | Marius Surleac [27.Jul.08 11:18] |
| Hi Chris! The duel you've pointed is the duel between life and death states. Thank you very much! Best wishes, Marius | |
| = re those women... | Corina Gina Papouis [27.Jul.08 11:42] |
| how about the women attractive but with snakes instead of curls? or make them all lesbians! now that's a thought! i bet your male audience would read it over and oevr again...:) "fannies" was too...cheap in such an extravagant poem.. | |
| = thank you again! | Marius Surleac [27.Jul.08 11:47] |
| Maybe "fannies" is cheap but the "leather" increases the value. Lol. The "playboy bunnies" and the "snakes instead of curls" are quite a cliché - that's why I wanted to be a little bit soft, not too eccentric used - because they are not the basic idea of the text. Thank you very much and you’re always welcome. Cheers, Marius | |
| + Marius, I see... | John Willy Kopperud [03.Aug.08 23:54] |
| ...you're entertaining dualism here. Both angels and devils at large and good entertainment it is! Cheers from Willy | |
| = it is a... | Marius Surleac [04.Aug.08 09:39] |
| ...honour for me to see how many people visited and commented on my poem, and for receiving the star as well. Danke Willy, it is my pleasure and an honour for me because of your appreciation. Best regards, Marius | |