| = my opinion! | Marius Surleac [21.Feb.09 19:47] |
| There should be "you were" instead of "you was", "it snows" instead of "it snow's", "it’s been one full year" instead of "it’s been full/ 1 year", "so much" instead of "so much so". You can take off the capital letters - they wipe the aesthetic shape of your poem and the repetition as well. You can also make this poem shorter because you give a lot of explanations and is too long for all its meaning - the reader will get bored if you give him everything ... try some mystery within the phrases. I understand the maternal love feeling brought here but you can polish this poem a bit. Hope my advices won't be disturbing but constructive. Best wishes, Marius | |
| = Gunsel Djemal | Gunsel DJEMAL [25.Feb.09 19:37] |
| Hi Marius, and once again thanks for your advice, however i would like to keep it as it is. It means so much to me. Many thanks | |