| = good | Lynn West [29.May.09 20:57] |
| a sad but heartfelt poem - I liked it | |
| = opinion | Marius Surleac [30.May.09 09:26] |
| A serene poem that has a certain flow, not fully developed but comes from the partial rhymes used. A small objection I'd have: would be better to use "outside" instead of "out" in the second line of the first stanza. | |
| = ay, ole, tango | ion a [01.Jun.09 08:23] |
| it might sound silly, but i would try to actually follow the correct tango rhythm. try to sing this on something like "la cumparsita": i've seen you dancing while you're advancing you light the room up i lift my hand up and everything's spinning around don't be afraid if it doesn't sound really "deep" or whatever, tango is not supposed to :) it's the hypnotic effect of rhythm, sensuality and pure joy of living | |