+ bar/bar | ion amariutei [02.Jun.06 14:18] |
i don't know if intentional, but in this context, the "bar" in the first verse sounds more like the drinking place than the structural part of a cage (in the ro version). like this, it sounds kind of common place. you might be able to use a synonym (even if not very close to the original) like: cell, cage, brig, jailhouse, lockup, dungeon, embargo, etc otherwise, a pretty tight poem, where an underwhelmed anxiety becomes interesting through careful use of surreal techniques | |
= delighted | felix nicolau [03.Jun.06 20:12] |
thanks for interpretation and suggestion. I'll take heed of that common place. Anyhow, a pretty solid argumentation, which makes me feel high about the possible level of discussion also on this side of the agonic paradise. Until now it has been only pudding-like conversation in the surroundings. | |
= Imaginative Neon God | Edilberto González Trejos [15.Jul.06 17:34] |
"The Neon God riding a happiness with 4 thick barrels foul like a poetess cracked like an actress" Smart, manifold, even tricky. The inner urge for answers is eventually brought forth as an imaginative god. This is a serius piece of poetry FELIX. Salut SONGO | |
= edilberto | felix nicolau [20.Jul.06 14:49] |
glad you liked this surrealistic piece of poetry! hope to enchant you also in the future if i keep close to this trend. | |