| = oana46 | Luminita Suse [06.Nov.04 18:46] |
| Pay attention to the words in bold, below. The "it" in verse #3 can be omitted. The dictionary definition for hart is A male deer, especially a male red deer over five years old That’s not your intended word right? Also, some of your sentences are too long and sometimes they do not express in English what you think of in Romanian. Waiting for someone to die shows an intention rather than something you miss happening. Well, it is said that “The truth will set you free” and death is a very dramatic aspect of the reality we live in. There is some value in your questioning things, but of a greater value would be to try answering them! Why do the stars shine only in the dark? Why the sun sometimes caresses us with its heat And other times it burns us? Why the human hart can hide inside so much pain And yet his face mimes the laughter? Even if we always can give or to be given a hand, Why is it always a delayed gesture? Why do we always wait for a man to die to discover we have lost him? Why do we all dream to Love and when it's here we can't accept it? On the steps of the cathedral, somewhere, kids were killed On the streets innocent people were shot One day the city turned red with blood And people felt free. Why do we have to pay freedom through death? Finally, I would like to see more of you in the English section of this site. Good luck! | |
| = Luminita | Diana Pacuraru [08.Nov.04 21:04] |
| Luminita, I have a comment to tell you. I noticed that you always quote from the dictionary. There is one thing wrong here: words can often be used to express something else rather than what it is in the dictionary. For example, the word "spirit". I think the dictionary has only 10% of the meanings of this word. | |
| = Luminita | Diana Pacuraru [08.Nov.04 21:05] |
| Indeed, here you were right, but in my case, I think you weren't. No offence | |
| = Oana | Diana Pacuraru [08.Nov.04 21:07] |
| Your poem is nice. I think these questions have been put a million times. But you seem a little shy. Your poem made me have this particular feeling. I like especially its frivolity, the way it seems as if a child would ask this while sitting on a stone in the "middle of the world". I like it | |
| = 10x, Diana | Luminita Suse [08.Nov.04 21:36] |
| Diana, it depends what dictionary you use... I actually have about 5 dictionaries handy. And, I need them a lot! Thank you for visiting other's works. | |
| = nice, but... | Daniel Dinescu [09.Nov.04 00:05] |
| nice poem, but you should renounce some of the "the", article that is not so often used by the English, not as often as we use it, anyway. and also what luminita said. you have some promissing images, so, keep writting! :) daniel | |
| = Luminita | Diana Pacuraru [11.Nov.04 00:21] |
| Luminita, you're welcome. I found that a good idea, indeed. | |
| = this words.. | Luminita Baboianu [04.Jan.05 21:39] |
| ..."a delayed gesture" - they sound so strong in my ears! It's a great image you've created by those.. I think that you didn't need to put there the last part of the poem. It's like an explanation for the first one. As if you needed to underline the ideea once again, by giving it a deeper side.. Well, I think that you should keep it simple.. Childish or not.. it's honest and true! | |