| = "queen"|
|I don't recognize you, in this poem. It's violent and bitter, like a bad dream. It took me some time to get used to its "sound", but I'm ok now. Here is one suggestion for the end, so it sounds better:|
"I have enough mud on my heart
Enough blood on my hands
one after the other"
If it shocked me, it doesn't mean I didn't like it. I did. Keep on writing!
| = friends will be friens|
|your poem lives|
I like it
don't be sad
cause it feets you
with all the music
through yours ears
| = irina said it|
|you seem indeed sad, Daniel. |
Yet, I would say, it is only a fugitive thought, a disenchantment with the worldly ways.
I don't find the bitterness in your poem. On the contrary, by that "mamma mia" you put a smile on my sad face.
Mihaela is also right.
The final part needs some attention.The English rendering, if know you what I mean.
I would say:
chasing each other
around and about
In case you find the final word too profane, you may say
I invite you to see my Romanian pages the following days.
I am going to post a very nice poem by St. Aug. Doinas, "Sfantul Gheorghe cel Fals".
I love this poem so much and I am sure you will love it too.
I also know that you will understand it and learn for the beauty of its verse and also from the disenchantment with the worldly ways of a great poet.
| = I can hardly wait|
|elena, I readed the poems already there and I like them all. we are waiting the following ones. thak you!|
hello daniel, I hope that you too like those poems.