= "queen" | Irina Iacovescu [16.May.04 04:45] |
I don't recognize you, in this poem. It's violent and bitter, like a bad dream. It took me some time to get used to its "sound", but I'm ok now. Here is one suggestion for the end, so it sounds better: "I have enough mud on my heart Enough blood on my hands Enough nightmares running around one after the other" If it shocked me, it doesn't mean I didn't like it. I did. Keep on writing! :) irina | |
= friends will be friens | Mihaela Maxim [01.Jun.04 15:17] |
your poem lives I like it too don't be sad cause it feets you with all the music running there through yours ears towards ours | |
= irina said it | Elena Malec [04.Jun.04 06:54] |
you seem indeed sad, Daniel. Yet, I would say, it is only a fugitive thought, a disenchantment with the worldly ways. I don't find the bitterness in your poem. On the contrary, by that "mamma mia" you put a smile on my sad face. Mihaela is also right. The final part needs some attention.The English rendering, if know you what I mean. I would say: "Enough nightmares chasing each other around and about Dammit! In case you find the final word too profane, you may say by George! I invite you to see my Romanian pages the following days. I am going to post a very nice poem by St. Aug. Doinas, "Sfantul Gheorghe cel Fals". I love this poem so much and I am sure you will love it too. I also know that you will understand it and learn for the beauty of its verse and also from the disenchantment with the worldly ways of a great poet. Sincerely, Elena | |
= I can hardly wait | Mihaela Maxim [04.Jun.04 19:35] |
elena, I readed the poems already there and I like them all. we are waiting the following ones. thak you! hello daniel, I hope that you too like those poems. | |