Like a thief
slip the paper
in the box in Becket
with the name of your dead
make sure no-one sees.
Use first name you don’t want
your last recognized

they’ll say they understand
they don’t. Why do it then?
Do you really want her name
read out loud to God?
Doesn’t he know?
He was there, I remember,
bend over me, saying-
‘I am terribly sorry,
There is no heartbeat.’ He wasn’t.
He went home,
had eggs for breakfast
took his coffee black.

Pull this girl to room 15
oceans stuck on the wall
like big blue eyes
Moroccan urns
-no ashes. I wish
I’d taken her with me
undie her from
what she is now:
a bow of bones,
wear her like a brooch.
I wish I was a rock star,
in a concert
I would’ve broken my guitar
on your head, God,
I know you would be there
watching