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| I took a break from love to possibly think of you to write something about the dead I mean about the dead man inside of me who rises with our first kiss. the dead man inside of me once so dead and now so alive. I took a break from life to write about death about the death appearing on my face when I am alone and I watch myself in the light of the cigarette embers in the dark glitter of the drink within the glass and I do not recognize myself, I do not recognize myself like the dressed do not know the naked anymore. I took a break from love to think of you this is like that moment when you put the gun barrel against your temple and inside your head the thoughts cut through just as the bullets do. now I can write about the dead now I can write about myself, now I can stop pretending. I love you, but I take a break form love so you can see me as I am without love: dead and bleak like a pair of initials written in the cement. like a deserted playground where only the wind and the rain are still playing. a soft, fluorescent bed which reads your cravings like a mentalist, a bed in which love has never been made. I take a break form love so I can share my darkest thoughts about death. everything is for sale I only write so I can pay my rent I always get bad news life is a sexually transmitted disease I live in bucharest and not like woody allen the last time I was inside of a woman was when I visited the statue of liberty I am not even sad or nostalgic I am not even the same as all the dead I haven`t got that odd light, or that mysterious smile which appears on the faces of the dead or those in love only those who receive love for love. not me, I just took a break from love so you can admire my death like a bizarre color, much too bizarre for a bedroom.
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