= nice poem, Corina | Laura Cherecheº [05.Feb.10 17:45] |
and, hey, that's my man too, may I join you? My meeting place is the end of the rainbow "with a red scarf/round my heart/ and butterflies/ in my hair/ I'll be waiting for you/ at the end/ of the rainbow", he/they(?) will be quite confused with so many butterflies all around :) May our waiting not be too long :) Cheers! | |
= Laura:) | Corina Gina Papouis [10.Feb.10 15:49] |
yes, the waiting in two could prove fruitful. At least we wouldn’t get bored, because it could be a very long wait...:))) | |
= Sighing... | Cãtãrãu Alina - Andreea [19.Feb.10 00:20] |
I love so much this poem. It makes me think of a modern tzpe of Prince Charming. I really adore the following lines: "I am looking for man with serious intentions of changing the world, who is good at fixing broken ideals and paring up illusions by colour/ year/ trend" Hm... it looks like we have similar thoughts. It's sad that the "blue butterfly" is hard to fine, for ordinary men don't fit to the ideal type. Cheers from Alina | |
= I like this one, Corina- | John Willy Kopperud [19.Feb.10 10:34] |
-though I think you'd better write "a man". Since it's a follow-up and originally written in Romanian (?) I suspect this is a remnant of Romanian syntax.Another detail for the short-sighted: "bare foot?" I do think that must be written "barefoot." But these are details, though and the poem is enjoyable. A favorite here: "without large tattoos on his heart." That rings a bell! A slight echo comes to mind: "Open my heart and you will see/engraved upon it Italy" - isn't that the great Victorian Robert Browning? Some very fine and fresh images here! Cheers from Willy | |
= and.. | Corina Gina Papouis [20.Feb.10 16:28] |
thank you both for stopping by? I have made the adjustments suggested, Willy...hope it flows better...to be honest I still love more the Romanian version, not biased here, just aware of own limitations...:) cheers to you both! Corina | |
= The adjustments make a difference- | John Willy Kopperud [20.Feb.10 18:52] |
-in the positive sense, Corina. I shan't be able to compare, since I unfortunately have no skills as to your mother tongue. Cheers from Willy | |