| = points | Marius Surleac [11.Nov.10 22:02] |
| i do enjoy rhymed poetry so this one really goes well. I like how you play with the metrics - 8 - 9 and then mixed them up. But you should be careful when mixing, you need to find the words in such a way to avoid gaps in the rhythm. You have some in the last stanza. Cheers! | |
| = reply | Mihai Cãtãlin [20.Nov.10 17:20] |
| Thank you for your comments and praise! I am aware of the few discrepancies in rhythm here and there and I acknowledge them as meant imprefections - I have to admit I didn't give much thought to the form, but rather concentrated on the conveyed image. | |