| = ! | Corina Gina Papouis [21.Dec.13 11:48] |
| Hi Ottilia, nice to see you on the English site! Just to point out a few errors (possible typos?) 'wait to be writed' should be 'waits to be written on' also I think 'unpredictably' should be unpredictable as it does not fulfil the adverb job here. then there is 'my heart the fox smell' - to me is a bit confusing. Is it 'my heart , the fox, smells...' or is it the fox's smell? please adjust these queries and we shall place the text back on the front page. Many thanks! | |
| = thank | Ottilia Ardeleanu [21.Dec.13 23:45] |
| you very much, Gina, it is my first experiment in english and i'm so happy for the result. there, it is 'my heart , the fox, smells...'. i adjust it. many thanks for your gently attention. | |
| = thank | Ottilia Ardeleanu [22.Dec.13 00:52] |
| you very much, Gina, it is my first experiment in english and i'm so happy for the result. there, it is 'my heart , the fox, smells...'. i adjust. many thanks for your gently attention. | |
| = half full | ion a [02.Jan.14 13:09] |
| loved everything after the first stanza, not so much the rest "my snow soul spread" - spread kind of suggests stuff like margarine "the hand of destiny" sounds a little heavy handed, kind of an overused metaphor "meddler/ is casually clad/ with million of thoughts" - meddler/ casually clad/ in a million thoughts | |
| = Mister | Ottilia Ardeleanu [02.Jan.14 14:56] |
| IONA :), I like your comment very much, thank you for the tips. I made some corrections. I hope, it is better. thank you again. happy new year! | |