the wall of my block of flats, the street, the statue,
the song, some specific words
everything makes you remember step by step
the way your past is cracking
and belongs no more to you
but to your body
and the shame is following you as a hungry kid.

from now on
you cut your hair
you boil a stronger morning tea
change the bracelet to the other hand
you lost weight
people come to you and stare at you very seriously
talk to each other
try to guess a deadly illness
eating you from inside

they bend down to see if your fingers
did not disappear yet

your heart gathers winters full of snow
you can put your hands in
up to your shoulders
your heart gathers rains
tasting as an unborn autumn

the limits are surrounding
you don’t even know if your coughing is correct
as you do not suffocate yourself
before any show
if you are able to breath one more time
without disturbing the silence
hanging in their minds

the most simple gestures
you never knew
you never knew how to get out
how to walk this ridiculous distance
between your place and the door
without no one to notice
the hungry kid
behind you has grown up a little