It used to be
That every time I heard
That little "knocking" signal
On my Mirc notify
Indicating that someone
Had just come online
My heart would skip a beat
Because it might be you
But for now at least
Due to "circumstances"
It never is
Although I still check each time
So rather than give myself
False hope
Or a heart murmur
I think I will just
Disable that feature
Since I can't seem to overcome
My conditioning
My Pavlovian
Reaction
To the possibility
Of you