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■ I know what you're thinking, father
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(drop 29.07... 10.00)
XIV in the morning... I know... I was just a name on a paper an innocent name on a lousy paper a dusty forgotten cover in the wind from a journal with it's pages gone somewhere inside your soul I know... there was no time, anymore our bags were already fulled with silence we forgot to put in there the time, the clouds our wooded rainbows our flock of eyes yes I do know... maybe just your pity could there have spoken but XV we didn't know each other not anymore I didn't recognize none of your thoughts in my mine none of my dreams in the hole hidden resting beneath your front eye it seemed like I was here for the first time now waiting as to join you with my eyes the time you take to clean the room for this new waiting soul... too much perhaps they hurt me deep these unforgivable thoughts of yours crying deep, senile dropping from your smiling leaps... XVI have I told you ever that I loved you? maybe not... enough since you had to go away from me without taking anything at all not even a child of good-bye from my last look behind searching even now in the line of the horizon the trace of your hunting eyes from the same shore... XVII oh, yes. I waked up late too late, in fact with this strange love in my arms and I don't know what to do I'm turning it upside-down like an old currency I look at it's sides like of a diamond tool I'm looking inside but I can't feel anything amputated from my dreams just another tiny creature of cloud sweet nothingness sailing very slowly outside of my body... taking with it all the warmness inside my blood is cold now I'm a just little lizard without a tail reborning a convalescent one XVIII yeah you're laughing now... you can do it, I don't mind... they're shinning in the light the teeth of your smile thirsty in myself I do think that somehow I did something wrong to our bodies ...just like in an unsuccessful surgery for the separation of two bodies mine, and yours living onetime ago together in the same dream one of those when all in one and one in all dreams has now a voice of it's own and it doesn't stop whispering things that I don't want to hear I ought to stop maybe my ears to listen I ought maybe to bury them in the skin of the dog barking in the morning running through my veins... nesting the stars one by one in my exhausted body for the evening nurturing of the entire pack ...this is today my whole answer to you you had guess indeed intimate journal... in the light of the silence ...
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