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I’m running. I’m afraid. Don’t know how I got here. The forest is dark. I can’t see or think straight. I have no time or place knowledge. The only thing I can hear is my heart pounding so hard, that it’s about to break out of my chest. I hear my breath, I feel my lungs as I breath in breath out. I’m trying to slower my breathing, thinking I won’t get so tired, but I can’t ... I’m afraid. Something is following me. I’m in such a hurry, that I don’t notice things, like the rustling of leaves, or the creaking of branches. I’ve also lost a shoe somewhere, I can’t remember where. I can’t feel my body or any wounds (which I probably have). The animals are beside me. I can’t really see them; I only know that they are running with me, they aren’t attacking me, I would know. I’m not afraid of them … something else. Something else is following me that is why I’m afraid, I’m running.
I’m trying to distract my brain by talking to myself, thinking that I’ll Find some answers to my questions, which are driving me crazy. How did I get here? What am I running from? Where am I running? What if there us no way out? Then I try to cheer myself up: There is a way out and I am going to find it! Aha… but how? Well we’ll run and see. I have no answers I only run. This is my dream. The one I am having for weeks now. It’s always the same thing all over again. I am afraid. I am running in the woods. I am terrified actually, because I am afraid that I will go crazy if I keep having the same dream, ending always the same way. I fall and get buried in leaves. Until I wake up, I don’t realize that I’m in a dream, that it isn’t true. The pain, the fear is so real. I don’t know how to get rid of these. I tried everything, really! I tried to put things under my pillow. I bought things for luck. I planted rosemary in my tiny garden. When I am off somewhere I throw salt over my left shoulder. But my dreams wont go away. I went to a psychologist and talked about it. I don’t know if it truly helped. I am still having that dream. I told her about my fear and the weird thing about my dream that I am talking to myself. I’m asking myself tons of questions to which I can’t answer. Her answer made me confused: Your answers are in your dreams. Well how can my answers be in a dream? Am I missing something? I don’t get it. I’m running, I am running away. How can that be an answer to my questions? Then she told me to try to change my dream. But how can anyone choose what they dream? To change as in, not to fall and go forward. I tried and I succeeded only a few times but there were always new obstacles. Lately I have a weird feeling. I feel something, its presence, which I can’t reach. I always fall before I get there. It disappoints me, upsets my stomach more than the run and the thing, which follows me. In the end I think that appointment did me good, maybe I needed that talk. One night everything was about to change. In my dream I didn’t fall and ran forwards. Saw a tiny light, in a huge dark forest. I ran, as I never did before. My feelings started to change. I wasn’t afraid anymore; I was more confused than ever. I couldn’t decide if the light was good or bad. I was still running towards it. When I got really close I felt a peaceful, warm wind embracing me. I felt like it was telling me to slow down and that I arrived where I needed. The light was so shiny that my eyes hurt. Then I entered a sphere of peace and harmony. There I found the “Lady of the Forest”. She wasn’t a magical person. She wasn’t even a lady. She was only a spirit who I think was a she, and named her the “Lady of the Forest”. After a few seconds I started asking her: -What was I running from? -Nothing. -What do you mean by nothing? I was so afraid and you’re telling me that there was nothing following me? -Exactly. Maybe it will help if I’ll tell you some things you might not know. You, as a body weren’t running, you were sleeping remember? The one that did the running for you was your spirit. Do you understand? -Not really… -Tell me what do you see when you look at yourself? -My body. -Wrong. You only think you see your body. Your brain sends you signals and imagines from your present life. It can’t understand the complexity of previous lives. The one thing which connects these two (present and previous life) is your soul, your spirit. In our dreams we return to our previous life. That is why you were running with animals. They didn’t attack you because you were one of them, an animal running for its life. – She was looking at me as she was expecting me to give a sign of understanding. -OK, I get it, but why am I having this dream for weeks now? -The reason for reincarnation is to gather experience and try not to make the same mistakes again. It seems that you made this mistake too many times and… -Which mistake? -The one you were (or are) about to make in your present life. -Can’t you tell me anything about it? -No, I am sorry. It’s your life and it depends entirely on you. -But why? Please help me, I got so far –started crying. A few seconds later I woke up, felt my tears and remembered my dream. That is when I knew, everything changed. My life from now on took another road. Got out of the bed and started taking notes of my dream. I wrote down everything I saw and felt. I made a habit out of this, it helping me to know myself better. I analyze every dream I have and use them in life. I answer my questions. I often feel that I would like to know more. So I pick up a book and read. A few minutes ago I read that every question has an answer and that every answer has a theory of its own. Now that I have more answers than I knew then, feel that everything fell into place. All the bits and pieces have a place and meaning now. Everything turned out quite well. I do what other done for me. Telling them the same thing I was told. I am a new, stronger person now. Even my dreams changed. I am running. I am happy, I’m laughing and I’m not afraid anymore. Everything is shiny. The sun is shining; the leaves have their own glamour. We speak a universal language, the one of peace and harmony. Nature is our home. Gives us a roof above our heads, gives us food and gives us water to drink. You can hear the trilling of birds .The wind surrounds you. In the end running becomes the greatest feeling of them all. The feeling of being in: PARADISE. |
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