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Destruction of magnetism inside
personals [ Thoughts ]
an inside job

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
by [ankhJOKER ]

2010-02-11  |     | 



My month of destruction has begun without announcing several weeks ago, in the early days of middle January.
Soon my month of destruction should come to its much awaited end. After that no crying, no weeping, only struggle and after confining myself in my dungeon with my decaying innocence, I hope to succeed in rejuvenating the magnetism that once possessed me the last few years.
How can all fade away in just a month? All disappear in an instant, in one's life, it comes close to a second, and in that second I entered a world that always was amongst my enemies, and one of my darkest fears.
First month after the disaster will be the hardest, having to answer to gremlins, griffins, annoying clowns millions of questions of what and why, and my oh my how could I come to their ugly side, what dark winds and smelly pigs pushed me there? Ignoring them might be the optimum solution, after all I am a chemist, and chemists are good at solving all problems because we have all the solutions, right?
I have to reinvent some imaginary powers to get out of these newly arisen torments. I like dying but I would regret an eternity if I would quit so easily. Even if I think that I am too lost, in under three weeks my plan is to evade, play dead to achieve salvation and return to my side. Keeping this in mind I hope to prevail.
It's so funny, that when I find all that I ever wanted and needed in my life, I manage to destroy a big part of what else was in it. Maybe this destruction and these condemned buildings inside me should have vanished long ago and I finally done the right thing, for once.
The landscape is changing and it has to grow around my now complete soul. Too bad that by destroying these, I destroyed part of my mind and lost much of my work related concentration, but time will mend this part and will build me up, higher than cloud number nine.
Hope is all that is left and will power. Losing these, you remain empty. Wish me luck, here I go.
Bags are packed, shaved and showered I throw myself from the magnetic clouds, repelling all their attractions and plunging into tomorrow.
Here I come, don't wait for me.

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