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HEY YOU, SANTA CLAUS!
by Sorana Lucia Salomeia I saw it in the mirror, I saw it in my face that I am no longer needed, that my place could be taken by anybody. Yes, I saw it in the mirror, when I looked into my eyes, I saw that something was wrong. I saw it in the mirror, my head was hanging low and I am not too familiar with such feelings. I know he said he loved me, but I saw beyond his lies and it really did not bother him if I would ever cry because of him. I had never thought I could cry for him, but now I know I will miss him and all the days we shared. I can still recall the day when he walked into my house, as smug as a cat. He was handsome and smart, telling innocent lies, learning all my secrets and then leaving no stone unturned, throwing dust in my eyes. As though he had stopped a while for a chat, he found a temporary home in my house and mind. Then he simply walked away with my heart in his hand. As romance had blossomed, I thought that there was nothing in the world that could keep us apart. I can still feel those kisses of fire burning, burning, those sweet devotions which made me feel like being at the point of no returning, being caught in the net of emotions. I was riding higher than the sky and when he slept by my side I felt safe. I had found a place in the sun. Still, I was scared, as my love was too strong. Losing him was a nightmare. I wonder: was it just a dream, everything we did, everything we had? Now our love is just a blown-out candle. I lived in a love land and wondered along beautiful gardens full of flowers, song and sweet scents. The grass was mellow and the sky was blue. I had come into sunshine and listened to the celestial songs of the silvery birds. It was like living in paradise. It was a tropical love land which I shared with him. Life was so happy and sunny. We wandered together, lay in the shade of a tree, over the rainbow and under the moon. But our love was a snowbird which flew away. They say that a restless body can hide a peaceful soul, and if I explore the heavens or if I search inside, well, it really doesn't matter as long as I can tell myself I have always tried. Life is motion, just like a roller in the sea; life flows like a wind that is always blowing and, like the sunrise in the morning, life dawns. How I treasure every minute, being part of it, being in it, with the urge to move on. I have travelled many places and I have travelled in my mind; it seems I am on a journey, a trip through space and time and somewhere lies the answer to all the questions why. What really makes the difference between all dead and living things is the will to stay alive. Changing, moving in a circle, I can see his face in all my dreams, smiling, laughing from the shadows; when I hear his voice I know what it means, I know it does not matter just how hard I try, but he was all the reasons for my life then. Sadly, disillusion is all he left for me. How can I forget him when my world is breaking down? Wishing, hoping, chasing shadows…Did I see his face somewhere in the crowd? Thinking and wondering what he is doing I cannot stop myself from crying out loud. They say that my wound would heal and only leave a scar, but then they never shared our love. Disillusion is all I have got from him. Now I believe that his new girl has turned him down and they say she is pushing him around .How does it feel? I guess it hurts his pride. Disaster and disgrace! The king has lost his crown! Suddenly he is clumsy like a fool and his world is upside down. Was it hard to step down from his throne? The morning breeze that ripples the surface of the ocean, the crying of the seagulls that hover over me - I see it and I hear it, but how can I explain the wonder of the moment…to be alive, to feel the sun that follows every storm… But what do I hear? A strange, funny noise coming from my hotel room. I can hear crystalline jingling of bells coming from inside. What is it? Who is there? What is happening to me? Am I hearing things? Is it just fantasy? I rush into my room and find the window open. There is a huge red sack on my bed. Looking through the window, I can see a sleigh pulled by reindeers in the sky. And inside the sleigh there is Santa… Santa?! In the middle of summer? “Hey you, Santa Claus! Come back! Why have you come so early? Hey, Santa!!! “ Copyrighted © Sorana Salomeia, Iasi, Romania, 2004 |
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