To Sir William Shakespeare,
I can no longer remain silent. I have heard the whispering and felt the penetrating stares of your spies. I can no longer tolerate your thievery and insolence. You sir are no gentleman! Throughout my journeys I have come across many people, and have been to many distant places. Never have I had the contemptible and utter disdain to hear of a man who dares imitate and steal another’s life. My eyes have graced the pages of many a wondrous novel. I would have wanted my eyes plucked from my head and thrown into a kettle of hot oil when I read your work! I am astonished and baffled by your flagrant indecency. I hold my honor and my oath as a knight as a shield against you that have chosen to dishonor me. Many have deceived me, but I have never lost my true identity and purpose. Though my squire, Sancho Panza, believes me to be insane, I know who I am and where I come from. I will never allow the slings and arrows of your written word to tarnish my good name. Tell me, Sir William Shakespeare, how can a man steal another mans’ life in order to validate his career?
Yes, I was insane for a very long time. But what man does not lose his way now and then? It was a time of many a great adventure. Not only have you stolen my adventures and used them in your work, but you also mimic my special relationship with Sancho Panza. Anyone who reads your Comedy of Errors can witness the incredible resemblance that Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse share with Sancho Panza and myself. This man Antipholus is incredibly lost and confused, and in my insanity I was as well. I never enjoyed being deceived by those around me, and I know that my poor Sancho received many beatings from my crazed hands. I only confused him with what were my realities. Antipholus also beat Dromio of Syracuse. Did you think it amusing for the “mighty” English to see my great and memorable adventures featured on your small stage?
Your repetitive ideas have become a source of great amusement to me. I will be gracious to you when I admit that the prose and rhyme in your writing is quite beautiful. I will not deny that I enjoy reading your work. How can your readers expect anything less? After all, I am the source of your inspiration. The honorable man would have given credit where credit is due. I have examined your writing, and I realize that the topics you prefer are universal. They are about love, romance, honor, self-awareness, and all the many conflicts that reside within all of us.
You forget that I am the great Don Quijote, who has traveled all of La Mancha to prove my honor and love for Dulcinea. I am a hero in my land, and it would be the gentlemanly thing to do to admit your thievery of my persona. Your clever use of disguises to camouflage not only your characters appearance but to mask their true self is an affront to me. I too had denied my true self. I would not allow the caballero in me to surface. I experienced the same process of discovery of self and identity as many of your characters. I do admire your vast knowledge of the inner workings of society. It takes a great mind to understand such complexities. However, I believe that your readers would have enjoyed reading about Don Quijote de La Mancha, the man who traveled far and wide in search of the very same greatness that your characters yearn for. You have defiled my character and made me look the buffoon in front of the boorish English.

- Don Quijote De La Mancha