If you cannot see how “beautiful” the weather is inside my head then maybe you were not meant to. However, if you do see those fake smiles a cold wind surprises you with and are too busy in your own worlds to care and help then I’m sorry for my tears. It’s neither the time nor the place to bring the moon in front of the sun whereas I’m made to consider my eyes as obligations twice a week.

I’m crawling, suffocating, hanging on a rope that leads nowhere for I’ve lost hope concerning many things. On one hand I’ve misplaced myself in their eyes, people… on the other hand I do not know how to act when you share your unreal thoughts, I feel lost each time I even think, nonetheless unable to perceive the past as true. Where has it disappeared? Where have you?

But it’s just the same, I’m crying if not dead without the life we were used to. Yes, I ponder, I wonder, why not? It’s my time, I can do it if I please whenever, wherever, even now. Still… I’ve got nothing left… and everything around me proves it the second I wake up one morning, after the sunrise due to your call that makes me shiver.

I think you’ve put me in Pandora’s box for later or never… If you’re always starring… then why won’t you just let go? It’s not my wish at all, I just want to find a moment of everlasting hope, but I don’t know in which angle of the world to seek.

Of no usage whatsoever, I don’t have enough… too much… cannot even describe myself when it comes to walking towards that cracked door where spiders have circled my ideas, your fears, our… nothing.

Now I’m dizzy, like yesterday, I feel worse than ever, don’t know how to begin, but in the end, who cares?


Tuesday, 20 November 2007

14:46:13