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■ I know what you're thinking, father
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I
on the dark of the moment I felt delighted... too early by the taste of the tears counting my pain... didn't know what I was tasting the time grown green in long trices up to the sky closing in myself the Pandora's box there was a hermit in-there then I had to remember the forgotten soul and I started to look for it in my body ...and yours you see, I wasn't sure which was it's host now I can tell just that I saw you waving your hand to me from the root of a savage love raised chaotic on my feeling's field II your green light... was then closing her eyelids there were coming up now and then my light-bugs of frights all by myself I thought I was confronting the threat of the dark through those unknown shadows breeded there savage children of the night in the crinkles of the silence between us... that ocean with two hands of tears shacked twisted together like in a magic square crossed over my chest... III there I look again... as I told myself is nothing to see nothing for me this night it's not mine although your steps are sounding loud someplace near around breathing closely the trace of my steps another voice another silence into the deep of another night with her warm warm whispers... IV don't shout anymore! the words are drowning in my flesh cutted from bones the silence is waking up running over my thoughts in fire and there's no time for me not anymore I'll become a huge smile that'll come to trickle from clouds... and I won't lie to you not anymore this time I won't tell you to leave ...of course this shall happen only in a future life like I promised to myself... V stocktaking unuseful objects left beside you and me on the table of that sacrifice from where there were slowly draining off yet last sad slices of silence almost clotted... the time was sculpting far away working hard in the heart of the same broken shell giving it's head to the uncoming water... VI I have squeezed my soul with two salted fingers then I saw like through a sweet blue breeze pieces of my life cutted off flowing naked on the body of my past you were also there isolating them each one alone in the tinfoil of crying layers of thin glass yellow spherical envelopes white moments for black wings ...and I didn't know anymore if what I was seeing it was the trace of your dream or the dream was passing slowly in front of my steps to uncover the same coffins without cover filled of white minuscule pearles silvery mettalic sand in which you said once there were broughted all our bodies to rest for the relaxation... whole rows crunching the light on it's borders twisting themselves ones on the way to the left the others to the right taking with them the tensions of the day... VII I can't kill your silence in one cut the knife will blow my venes will get into my blood searching the track of the tears on the paper call my lost crushed dogs at the feets of the wall my being-voice was running through the lines of the words wondering, astonnishing loving too late... I wasn't calling for you Thought for you to born white silence after another one in the season of walking and It's flowing like a tear understanding the hill of a cheek flowing through lashes the melted thought... VIII the flashlight of dreams died off on the bed is closing into it's darkblue mist of the moments attracting the courage by promising to pay with some hot pearls... hidden into the big shells of memory salted salted and sweet like a forgotten quad having two feet on a written rock with blood and green poisoned grass IX the courage is walking near closely it's tickling... it'll break my fear in two pieces now I'm more frightened scared to see maybe the teeth of the seven dragon with it's twelve heads biting my past life walked ahead the new life that has to come next... X it's raining with blood the blood of the memories... forgotten memories but not by me told you pity I'm not capable... damn it to forget I bury into myself under thousand of slices of soul steppingstones of dreams XI I was floating onetime far ago between your lying thoughts if I just could have seen then beneath the ice of your smile just if I could then swim into your deep waters of thoughts I would have seen there another mirroring and there my steps could drown just there saving the time for crying but no I had to walk on the crest with the wave up to the clouds in my head up to the end high right on the top of it weak distinguishing my self being waiting curved on the shore making me desperate signs JUST COME BACK!!! JUST COME BACK!!! but I was laughing... too loud surrounded by salted flashes of the water of life dreaming and so I couldn't hear you I couldn't hear ...me... pity this is what they were kept saying my dear moments with you pity you're back alone now... there... here... it would have been better if we just knew you the way you used to be... XII tiptoe my heart in the peak of it's red nosy thumb she was trying to escape by opening a corner from that too extinct walk on hot lighted smuts... then I was burning down my way back I was chasing the hours not to come anymore not to cry anymore but no... XIII do you know? sometimes we are looking all alike each alone... me alone now in the deep mirror of the memories water I can see swimming a lonely fish of hope... maybe I wasn't lying you, also... maybe I was, really, loving you too much... it's just that I had to lie... because too cruel it seemed your doubt... here's what I thought that love is coming around smelling you, pointing at your chest saying YOU! now, you're next! and this is ALL. you can't, you don't have to worry for nothing anymore you just have to look ahead towards it's coast absorbed of that glassy moment... absurd... beautiful thoughts crumpled consciously in the tear of the silence now ...when is it silent the tear before, of after the pain? ... |
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