Translated by Mona Lepadatu



‘Corina, I’ve fallen in love with you.’
‘I like you too, Costel, but I haven’t had the courage to tell you...’
‘How come I haven’t noticed? For we’re going out together for a while now.’
‘Because you’re only looking at my legs.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You heard me! Everytime you take my clothes off with your eyes and think what would be like if we...’
‘If we what, Corina?’
‘Come on, eat your omelette, it’s getting cold. I just notice things.’
‘I see.’
‘Costel, you’ve never asked me about my family, have you? About my past?’
‘True, but that was just because you just don’t do that. If you want to say it, you say it, if you don’t, you don’t.’
‘Nonsense! If you cared about me you would die to know how many guys I’ve been with before you, if I still think of them and other stuff like that.’
‘Corina, I’m dying to know everything.’
‘Stop playing the victim. You’ve never asked me about mummy...’
‘Your mother? What should I ask about her?’
‘Anything. And that’s because you only want me for a night. I’m not that kind of girl, Costel.’
‘What got into you? We’ve been together for two months and it’s only last week that you allowed me to kiss you on the cheek.’
‘You have to know the truth: I’m abstinent.’
‘You’re what?’
‘Abstinent. I’ve been to a convent and I’ve taken a vow of total abstinence.’
‘And you’re not allowed to...’
‘But I can marry for love.’
‘Corina, but if you marry you will be able to...?’
‘No, Costel. Are you obsessed?’
‘Obsessed? I’ve been taking cold showers for two months...’
‘You see? But before becoming abstinent I had a rich sexual life.’
‘I’m relieved.’
‘Costel, don’t take it so much to heart. If we get married we can sleep next to each other. Mummy has invited us to dinner tonight.’
‘Where?’
‘At their house, for dinner. And daddy wants to meet you, he’s such a darling. They have a villa in the Baneasa district and they are giving us a bedroom with a terrace.’
‘Are they abstinents, too?’
‘No, just me. Look at yourself, I’m telling you about marriage, our future, and all you can think about is sex.’
‘And what shall we do at night? Kiss each other on the cheek and go to sleep?’
‘We can say a prayer... How romantic!’
‘When did you say we would get married?’
‘I’ve found a free Saturday at the Ghica Palace, exactly over a month. Eat that omelette, dear!’
‘I’m not hungry anymore... Let me take you home. Waiter, the check, please!’
‘Wear your grey coat tonight, it suits you so well. And buy nine gladioli for mummy, I’ll take care of daddy. Bye’
‘Wait a minute... How rich was your sexual life?’
‘Do you want a number?’
‘If you can...’
‘Now you’re jealous, on top of it. I don’t know anymore and it doesn’t matter. It’s all over, I’m abstinent now.’
‘That’s not fair!’
‘Costel, it is better this way. You will want me all your life, you will worship me, you will check my willpower. Otherwise, in five minutes, game over. You find out everything about me and I won’t seem interesting to you anymore. Come pick me up at seven o’clock..., I’ll go choose the wedding rings. Bye!’

From that day on Costel vanished. They say he has emigrated to Canada...